Money, so they say,
Is the root of all evil today.
But if you ask for a rise
It’s no surprise
They’re giving
None away…
Pink Floyd, Money
A shroud has no pockets.
Ted Little
If I equate a love of money with greed, I’m subconsciously limiting my ability to attract it, for if I do attract it, I must be greedy. Therefore, I’m bad. Therefore, I must feel guilty. Therefore, I must keep money at bay in order to avoid feeling guilty. And then we wonder why we have no money.
Marianne Williamson, The Law of Divine Compensation
Recent events have uncovered old ideas about the topic of money.
Since I can remember, I have had a conflicted relationship with money. Simply reading the words „love of money“ — in the quote above — sets off alarm bells deep within my psyche, which I can feel in the tightening of my body. This deserves the deeper exploration set out below.
Exploration leads to awareness which, as many of us know from first-hand experience, is the portal to transformation. No awareness, no transformation.
In our contemporary society, everything is stacked against awareness. We live in the age of the „weapons of mass distraction.“
These take many forms. Busyness, anxiety, obsession with how we are perceived, comparison to others, our grandeur or unworthiness (often in alternation), social media, consumerism, addiction, 24/7 mass media, supressed feelings, etc.
Awareness can be cultivated, however.
Ancient practices such as contemplation, meditation, prayer, yoga, and chi gong can be combined with modern modalities such as Mindfulness, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), PQ Mental Fitness, Polyvagal Exercises, etc. to achieve this goal.
Silence is a key element in cultivating awareness, whether sitting in meditation or rambling outside in nature. Truly silent intermissions are rare in the cacophony of our times, so need to be intentionally cultivated, as is often the case, for example, in Twelve Step fellowship meetings, meditation retreats, or towards the end of yoga classes.
Another catalyst for raising awareness is psychotherapy, in its myriad forms. I have sessions every second week and benefit from simply hearing myself untangle and sort the many impressions accrued since the last session. Prompted occasionally by my therapist, I am helped join up the dots between my reaction to what I experience in my day-to-day life and the dynamic, vibrant — sometimes hidden — landscape of my inner world.
„Living in the echo chamber of my childhood“ is how I would describe the unfolding process. The impacts experienced today are, in some way, reverberations of the „old ideas“ initially formed in childhood.
It is a beckoning for attention, to address those elements — hitherto hidden — that still require healing, the progeny of which are constrictive patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving which no longer serve me.
This is where old beliefs about money once more appeared on my mental radar screen. I believe they can be traced back through the paternal line.
Destitution and impoverishment, both emotional and material, played an important role in the development of my father’s world view, and therefore mine in turn.
His father — Ignatius Mary Little — died in 1940, aged 63, when my father was fourteen years old. My own father died shortly after my sixteenth birthday. Losing one’s father early is certainly an emotional challenge. It deprives us of our primary mentor before we have had the opportunity to meet them eye-to-eye, as adults journeying together through life.
Our family lore includes the story of Ignatius in financial dire straits ten years prior to his death. The father of 11 children — the youngest mere toddlers at that time — he became the beneficiary of a whip-around among his siblings to enable him to purchase a family home, Borris Lodge, where he continued to live until his death. I can remember visiting Granny there, where she continued to live until her death in 1970.
While that act of family generosity is heart-warming, that bankruptcy experience must have been very painful for my grandfather.
My father’s lucrative career as a dental surgeon in private practice in Belfast was disrupted by an accident in his late-30’s. His eyesight having been diminished through this accident and feeling the need for the security of tenure, he quit private practice to become a public servant in the National Health System of the Republic of Ireland.
His starting salary was only a fraction of what he had been earning in private practice. At the time of his accident, he had five children (me being the youngest). Ten years later, there were ten children to feed.
In our household, the topic of money was always fraught with anxiety and tension. It is the main topic over which I witnessed my parents quarrelling heatedly in front of us children.
My reaction was to decide to become financially independent as early as possible. This led me to taking my first part-time job at the age of eleven. Every school holiday thereafter was spent working to save up money for the things I wanted yet knew could never be financed by my parents: stereo system and LP’s, a good bicycle, denim jeans, etc.
What has recently become clear to me is the deep-seated antagonistic attitude towards money and material wealth in general, which was transmitted to me as part of the old-testament catholic ideology which framed the environment in which I and my forefathers had been raised.
It is the „sackcloth and ashes“ phenomenon which originates from an ancient Near Eastern custom — most famously documented throughout the Hebrew Bible — where individuals outwardly demonstrated their internal grief, unworthiness, or repentance through physical debasement.
This fear-driven debasement spans the entire gamut of human experience, from sexuality to finances. Anything which could be interpreted as celebrating the abundance and joys of life was twisted into proof of alienation from God, a God mainly preoccupied in judging our thoughts, feelings, and actions with a view to deciding if we were to be sent to heaven or hell.
The twistedness of this attitude can be seen in a certain pride that poor people are somehow more favoured by this almighty God and that those who are affluent don’t stand a chance of avoiding eternal damnation.
In my case the old belief — recently uncovered — reads as follows: „Unless I am scraping the bottom of the barrel (i.e. penniless), I am sure to burn in hell.“
In terms of the process of transformation, the step directly after awareness is compassion. I can feel compassion for my father and his forefathers for choosing this stance as a coping mechanism in dealing with the pain of their life challenges.
More importantly, I feel compassion for myself for developing such a stance and not even realising it.
The assumption that a life of sackcloth and ashes expresses holiness or worthiness in the eyes of God is erroneous. It is anathema to the natural manifestations of a living, loving universe.
When we look around, we can see abundance everywhere. The plants in my garden, the starry sky at the equinox, the vastness of the oceans, each new sunrise, and the fact that this planet has nourished every living being that has ever lived here since its formation four billion years ago.
Our outer circumstances do not determine the holiness of our thoughts or actions, nor do they indicate how we are held in regard by the Great Spirit.
Some people equate the love of money with greed. The love of money isn’t of itself greedy any more than love of anything else is greedy. Greed is when you have a desire to accumulate at the expense of others. My love of plants doesn’t make me greedy. It doesn’t make want to steal my neighbours’ plants.
In fact, my love of plants, as manifested through my green thumb, has resulted in an increase in the number of plants in the homes of many of my friends.
My love of healing doesn’t make me greedy. When I engage in practices for the healing of self or others, there isn’t any less healing available to the world. Similarly, my love of money doesn’t make me greedy unless I’m thinking of my money as something I’m taking from you rather than creating for the good of all, in cooperation with you.
As Marianne Williamson writes in „The Divine Law of Compensation“: If I equate a love of money with greed, I’m subconsciously limiting my ability to attract it, for if I do attract it, I must be greedy. Therefore, I’m bad. Therefore, I must feel guilty. Therefore, I must keep money at bay in order to avoid feeling guilty. And then we wonder why we have no money.
She continues: Now let’s imagine another scenario altogether… You receive whatever is meant to come to you with gracious receptivity and gratitude as well as a sober sense of responsibility to manage and use your money well. Like everything else, money is a reflection of love. It is to be used as God directs, as a way to care for all living things.
We are meant to use the money that comes our way to take care of ourselves and those close to us as well…because with that money you can help empower others. You’re not coming from a „get„ mentality. You’re simply allowing the flow of universal energy to move through you and use you in a way that serves a greater good. Bless every dollar and every dollar will then bless you…
In this echo chamber of my childhood experience, today’s reality is simply a mirror of the beliefs etched on my psyche many years ago. We can liberate ourselves from the limits of the past.
Nothing constrains me except my thoughts. Nothing limits me except my fears. Nothing controls me except my beliefs. Thoughts, fears, and beliefs can be transformed.
Rituals can be very helpful in the process of transformation. To this end, I took my old, recently discovered belief about money with me on my recent trip to Portugal. On one of my favourite beaches, as the tide was reaching its zenith, I wrote it, word for word, in the sand and watched the ocean swallow it.
Where the words had been writ, there was now a pristine patch of sand where new affirmations could find expression.
„Money does indeed grow on trees.“
„I love money just as I love plants, books, music, healing, and the company of good friends or a beautiful lover.“
„I will be a responsible steward of the money that comes my way.“
Over time — with practice — these new life-affirming beliefs gradually manifest.
The source of abundance is the Great Spirit. When I am engaged in the work of the Spirit, abundance is sure to flow.
We often confuse the source of abundance and the channel(s) through which it pours. The channel is secondary and its various manifestations may turn out to be very different than anticipated, planned, or desired. I leave that up to the Universe.
Meanwhile, my focus remains on following my calling, cultivating awareness, and taking the next practical steps, one day at a time.
