Money
“Living in the echo chamber of my childhood” is how I would describe the unfolding process. The impacts experienced today are, in some way, reverberations of the “old ideas” initially formed in childhood. It is a beckoning for attention, to address those elements — hitherto hidden — that still require healing, the progeny of which are constrictive patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving which no longer serve me. This is where old beliefs about money once more appeared on my mental radar screen. I believe they can be traced back through the paternal line…
Love
The concept of “rupture and repair” is one which has fascinated me for some time. Ruptures are inevitable in all relationships, but the quality and consistency of repair determine whether relationships flourish or otherwise. Recognizing ruptures, engaging in empathetic repair, and learning from these experiences are essential for emotional maturity, mental health, secure attachment, and long-term relational satisfaction. A simple example of this dynamic can be seen when the mother of a one-year-old leaves the kindergarten classroom and the child suddenly finds herself separated from the otherwise ever-present carer. A wide variety of reactions on the part of the child are possible, depending on the mood of the moment, the quality of the bond between the two, and the degree of emotional maturity of both parties…
Maternal Sadism
What mum and dad had in common was an inability to grieve, especially the premature loss of childhood in their own respective families of origin. Had they engaged in a regular practice of Mental Fitness or had they been shown how to cultivate Emotional Sobriety, they would have known that the war raging inside the human mind — the on-going conflict between the Saboteurs and Sage — is ultimately a war between the two primal forces that facilitate and maintain life on this planet. These two primal forces are fear and love. All Saboteurs are rooted in the fears of the Human Condition. Sage, on the other hand, is fuelled entirely by love. The Sage Perspective — everything can be turned into a gift and opportunity — is based on love for the unfolding mystery of life and a dedication to finding the gift in whatever happens…
Protection
Thus begins the gradual crumbling of denial which many of us have maintained all our adult life until such an epiphany occurs. It may come through the questions posed by a therapist or something as mundane as an old photo found while cleaning up the drawers of a desk, or even the aroma of baking bread wafting from a stranger’s house in the neighbourhood. I have extended the scope of the question, for example in the following ways: When you were being constantly bullied at school, who protected you? Where was the protection when, as an eight-year-old , you were sexually molested by that priest who lived in the street opposite the school? In each case, the same answer: “Nobody”.
Impassioned
This points us again to the importance of compassion once awareness has begun to germinate. The Saboteurs are both sly and powerful when it comes to maintaining their control over our lives. If we begin to beat ourselves up for the Saboteur pattern we have just discovered, we are right back in Saboteur mode again. Here we need to learn to be like a discerning anthropologist. We look clearly at what is before us, to see it as it is, without judgement or evaluation. We simply ask: “What is going on here?”
Edie
Edie didn’t let fear dictate her thoughts, emotions, or actions. Not for long, at any rate. When she was first invited to speak at a post-war convention in Germany, at the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp in 1990, she refused. After some conversations with Bela, however, she changed her mind with the perspicuous explanation: „If I don’t go it would mean that Hitler had won after all!“ This ability to discern what was driving her intentions, and her willingness to change course whenever she discovered that fear was lurking in the shadows pulling the strings; this awareness and vitality has always inspired me. It is something which can be cultivated on a daily basis…
Regrets
„Compassion“ (or „Empathise“); the love of self, others, and circumstances. „Explore“; the love of discovery, of expanding our scope of experiencing the endless abundance and opportunities of life. „Innovate“; the love of new ideas and breaking new ground. „Navigate“; the love of purpose and deeply held values, – and aligning our thoughts, emotions, and actions with these values. And „Activate“; the love of moving from thinking and feeling into taking action, while guided by the Powers of Sage. We move through life drawn by love rather than being driven by fear…
The Big Picture
Having moved our focus to the body, – a more healthy form of being „out of our heads“ – we can engage our deeper Self through the heart, and shift to any one or combination of the five so-called Sage Powers: Compassion (Empathise), Explore, Innovate, Navigate, and Activate. Each of these is a manifestation of one of the many facets of love. Compassion is the love of connection. Explore is the love of discovery. Innovate is the love of creativity. Navigate is the love of values and purpose. Finally, Activate is the love of making a difference, of converting ideas and intention into actions…
Scapegoating
On the definition of sin, I can remember many lessons in junior school where countless examples of sin were expounded by the elderly Jesuits in whose care our education was placed. Original sin, venial sins, mortal sins, white lies, etc. Egged on by my classmates, I would distract the teachers from our regular school work by asking to which category this or that deed (or thought) belonged. Today, I prefer the definition of sin provided by Richard Rohr, contemporary Christian mystic, namely “missing the mark”. This implies that our thoughts, emotions, or deeds are not in alignment with our deeply held values…
Encouragement
In the Positive Intelligence (PQ) Mental Fitness modality, we postulate that the fear-driven Saboteurs (Judge, Controller, Pleaser, Hyper-Vigilant, etc.) reside in the left hemisphere, and that the love-propelled Sage Powers (Compassion, Exploration, Navigation, etc.) are located in the right hemisphere. A neural shift is required if we are to move from Saboteur to Sage. This shift is enabled by the Mind Command muscle, which is activated and strengthened by daily on-going short bursts of somatic and imaginative exercises, many no longer than two minutes each. These so-called „PQ Reps“ represent a circuit-breaker of our incessant thinking. Called „Stinking Thinking“ in some quarters, this habit keeps us either in the past or the future, or alternating continuously between the two…
