Alexithymia
A case was described whereby a struggling client — a very successful man by all the criteria of our society; self-made millionaire, respected in the community, handsome, fit & healthy, seemingly intact family life, vibrant social network, etc. — was having difficulties in his „empty nest“ marriage because he felt that his wife was not displaying sufficient willingness to have sex with him whenever he (apparently often) wanted. „Oh boy! „, I thought, „this is not new to me.“ Thinking back to my VIP (Very Important Patrick) days, when I was proud of the fact that my average working week surpassed sixty hours, when, as an executive in a multi-national corporation, I racked up many hundred thousand air miles, it was clear to me that I, too, had fallen prey to the „sacrifice indulge syndrome“…
Totality
In her book, Arendt notes that, by stoking tribal nationalism, any nation of people can be persuaded that it is surrounded by “a world of enemies”. This paranoid state then makes way for the ideology that states that a fundamental difference exists between this people and all others. It claims its people to be unique, individual, incompatible with and better than all others, thereby excluding the very possibility of a common family of humankind, a sisterhood and brotherhood of all humans, indeed of Creation as a divine whole. For such a ploy to succeed, the innate human sense of community (among peoples) and belonging (to the wider sphere of the natural world) needs to be smashed…
Protection
Thus begins the gradual crumbling of denial which many of us have maintained all our adult life until such an epiphany occurs. It may come through the questions posed by a therapist or something as mundane as an old photo found while cleaning up the drawers of a desk, or even the aroma of baking bread wafting from a stranger’s house in the neighbourhood. I have extended the scope of the question, for example in the following ways: When you were being constantly bullied at school, who protected you? Where was the protection when, as an eight-year-old , you were sexually molested by that priest who lived in the street opposite the school? In each case, the same answer: “Nobody”.
His Story
In his recently-published work, “The Wisdom of the Odyssey”, one of our leading cotemporary Homeric academics, Phil Cousineau, highlights the contrast between the outward journey towards war and victory at Troy, and the onerous disoriented, decade-long, return journey undertaken by Odysseus, to his wife, son and subjects, stating that: While the Iliad asks: “How should one face death and earn honour?”, the Odyssey asks: “How should one live after war and find one’s way home?”…
