To Ship Oars
This effortless effort is by no means a permission slip for inertia, a laissez-faire attitude or, indeed, indifference, but rather a manner of living life to the full, trusting in the guidance of the Universe, unattached to specific outcomes, and confident that every situation, without exception, contains gifts and opportunities for the benefit of self and Creation as a whole. By relinquishing our attempts to control outcomes and by trusting that we will be given whatever we need to handle what life throws our way, we seldom revert to the formerly ingrained fear-based patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving…
On Setbacks
My translation of the statement; to supply me with prestige, security, and the like… into the trauma-informed language of the 21st century would draw attention to every child’s needs for ample acknowledgement, attention, affection, and an ongoing felt sense of safety. For those of us who came up short in any of these areas, our Inner Child may, even decades later, continue to attempt to draw our attention to the necessity of healing the woundedness, the childhood trauma. Until these cries for help are heeded and acted upon, we will remain in bondage to impulsive, somatically driven reactions, the coping patterns of the helpless child. This is a form of mental gridlock.
Impassioned
This points us again to the importance of compassion once awareness has begun to germinate. The Saboteurs are both sly and powerful when it comes to maintaining their control over our lives. If we begin to beat ourselves up for the Saboteur pattern we have just discovered, we are right back in Saboteur mode again. Here we need to learn to be like a discerning anthropologist. We look clearly at what is before us, to see it as it is, without judgement or evaluation. We simply ask: “What is going on here?”
Unlearning
When I thought I was heading to the most densely populated central quarter of town, I could feel the energy of the city ebb away into the calm of the countryside, beyond the countless improvised homes of the peri-urban belt. Then, in a moment of clarity, the riddle solved itself. Of course! I had, as always, been working on the premise that the sun was in the south. Not here! Roughly 2,500 km south of the equator, the sun appears to be in the north. This was the first of many lessons in unlearning which came my way during my African adventure…
Coaching
As a coach, I can ask myself how my saboteurs prevent me from being a true coach and cause me to tell, direct, or advise in many situations where coaching would be more beneficial and effective. It is also true that when the coach is caught up in Saboteur energies, these will spill over to the client, with detrimental effect. This is called saboteur contagion. Sage contagion is the preferable option…
Signposts
We have created a culture which promises success and happiness, if only we identified and acquired the right ingredients out there. The right education, the successful career, the perfect partner, the recognition of our peers, even the right car. The title of this game is: `I’ll be happy when…..´ This is the lie of the Inner Critic, or Judge Saboteur, which is constantly engaged in judging self, others, and circumstances…
Pessimism
We know that our ability to feel pain is essential. If you touch a hot stove, it’s good to feel pain so you’re alerted to the danger to your body and rapidly remove your hand before lasting damage is caused. Similarly negative emotions like stress, fear, anger, disappointment, guilt, and shame are extremely helpful to alert you that something needs your attention. These are signposts pointing inward, despite our initial conviction that the solutions are to be found `out there´…
Primal Forces
John Lennon was right when he said that: `When we love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.´ It is worth pointing out that we also experience less stress, more success, better relationships, restored physical health, and peace of mind. Being mentally fit helps in moving us ever closer to the goal of living the lives we love…
Waste
Transformation processes can be mandated from the top. This never works. Alternatively the team can be engaged to come up with the ideas and then execute. This is a much better approach. If the Saboteurs remain invisible, however, true transformation will never be achieved. Sustained transformation requires the `Coaching from the Inside Out´ provided by the PQ approach. Only by identifying the Saboteurs, and applying the on-going practice of PQ Mental Fitness to keep returning to Sage, will the desired transformation begin to shape new ways of interacting in high-performance teamwork…
Imagination
Loud voices, cramped spaces, the physical danger of contact sports, tension in the air at home that could be cut through with a bread knife, – these poised challenges to me which were not easily overcome. Fear began to creep into the picture more and more. As Cornnelia Funke has one of her characters state, `fear kills your mind, your heart, and your imagination´. I would add that it also leads us to shut down our vulnerability….
