High & Dry?
My Victim Saboteur seizes its opportunity, first thing in the morning, when I wake up. `So this is it, this is how you will begin the rest of your days, alone and not mattering´, it whispers into my ear. The ability to identify and intercept that voice, accept, indeed embrace its existence, and recognise it for what it is, namely a phantom with a comprehensible nascency, is key to a sober start to the day…
Defenselessness
At home, there was no vocabulary for the realm of feelings. Doors were slammed, eyes were rolled, the air was constantly filled with emotional static, and, for the most part, the basic childhood needs of my generation went unmet, just as had been the case of many of the children, like my parents, who grew up during World War II…
AMDG
The smell of freshly waxed parquet floors intermingling with the culinary fragrances from the kitchens in the subterranean levels impressed etched itself on my memory, when I had occasion to visit the Jesuits’ offices and rooms on the far side of the incorporated church which divided school classrooms from living quarters…
Writing
Meaningful encouragement came in the form of an English teacher in secondary school of whom I was quite fond. The warmth was mutual, and this Jesuit priest gave me meaningful feedback on my essays during my somewhat turbulent teen years. To this day, I have some of the corrected manuscripts in my desk, these being the only school memorabilia in my possession. His encouragement left me with the conviction that real talent resided deep within me and could and would be brought to the surface, if sufficiently cultivated and expressed…
Summertime
This morning, my inner clock woke me at 4.30, in good time to meditate and have tea before heading out through the fields in an easterly direction, to meet the rising sun. I am fortunate to live in such semi-rural surroundings with broad horizons in all directions. The best days are those where I get to greet both the beginning and the end of the day. Dawn and dusk are my favourite times, to be enjoyed in the company of the birds, many of whom migrate back here from Africa for the summer months…
Non-Violence
Thich Nhat Hanh hit the nail on the head when he pointed out that: `Peace is an inside job´. It all begins with me. If we pause and observe for a moment how our thoughts bombard us incessantly, how the `inner critic´ judges our selves, others, and our circumstances, we cannot deny that most of us live in a state of all-out war, the battlefield situated between our ears. The good news is that this is where the leverage for world peace is to be found…
Certitude
Today it is a rambling, tranquil, wonderfully restored city of great natural beauty. My years spent there were the hectic years of establishing a career, starting a family, and taking up my place in the world. I had not much time in those days to sally through the quiet streets or cycle along the river to the neighbouring towns, but I did take every opportunity I got. A love affair had begun…
Acceptance
I railed against the system, not yet realising that the only person I could change was me. Brutal youth tells us that we can change the world by changing others, by simply applying enough pressure. It took a while for the reality to sink in, a reality so eloquently expressed by Gandhi when he said: `Be the change you want to see in the world.´
Photography
Like my seven brothers, I was keen and spent much of my time there on the river; sometimes for twelve hours or more on days after a night’s rain, eagerly practising the craft taught me in childhood by my father, who learnt it from his, etc. To my consternation, I was not as good, by far, as some other members of the family, and often felt under pressure to prove myself in the strange ways of unwritten family codes…
Attachment
With lots of initial suffering, self-sabotage, grace, hard work, courage, and the help of others, my life has gradually been unfolding as a life of `engaged non-attachment´. It is a very purposeful, peaceful way to live, generally without pressure, internal or external…
