Eine Oase ist ein guter Ort, um innezuhalten, sich zu sammeln, zu reflektieren und die Batterien aufzuladen. Jede Woche gibt mir reichlich Inspiration in Bezug auf Themen; mögliche Quellen sind Coaching-Sitzungen, Gespräche mit Familienmitgliedern und Freunden, meine eigene Lektüre oder einer der vielen Beiträge und Podcasts, die ich unterwegs genieße. Ein Thema wird mich Anfang der Woche ansprechen und ich habe dann große Freude an dem iterativen Prozess des Entwerfens, Überarbeitens, Polierens und Fertigstellens jedes Aufsatzes. Dann folgt die Auswahl eines passenden, meist aktuellen Fotos aus meiner Sammlung, um das aktuelle Thema visuell zu akzentuieren. Wenn Sie die Artikel in Deutsch lesen möchten, klicken Sie bitte auf den entsprechenden orangenen Button „Translate >>“.
Ich lade Sie ein, sich eine kleine Auszeit zu nehmen, Ihre eigene sechsminütige Oase zu schaffen, einen bequemen Stuhl zu finden, sich niederzulassen und zu lesen. Mögen Sie ein Gefühl der Identifikation erleben und hoffentlich etwas Inspiration in diesen wöchentlichen Reflexionen finden. Wenn so, fühlen Sie sich frei, die `Weekly Reflections´ zu abonnieren:
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Schließlich sind Feedback und Kommentare immer sehr willkommen. Ich wünsche viel Genuß bei der Lektüre!
Then there are those of us who find, often in mid-life, that we have painted our selves into an existential corner. Having reached this dead end, change becomes unavoidable, if we are to recover our zest for life and thrive once again…
I learned the acronym HALT: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. A simple technique to become familiar with and to practice the basics of self-care. This proved to be only the portal to a whole new array of resources, all opening up before me and available for deployment, should I wish to use them…
The second envelope got me curious. There had been several items of post from Corsica since my accident there on holiday in mid-July; invoices, medical records and confirmations of payment, all of which were required in the on-going process of recouping most of my co-payments for the hospital care provided there. That professional treatment for serious spinal injuries may indeed have saved my life; it certainly safeguarded my mobility – the ability to move my arms and legs, without which life would be very different today…
`What’s that you are drawing there Mary?´
Without pausing or even looking up, Mary replied in her usual chirpy voice:
`I’m drawing a picture of God, MIss.´
`But Mary, nobody knows what God looks like´, enjoined the teacher.
`They will in a minute´, replied the child, looking up beaming…
It all happened in a matter of seconds. I had been greatly enjoying the great salty swell that sunny day on the west coast of Corsica, bobbing up and down between the 12 ft. waves. This requires successfully negotiating both the entry into the wild surf and, hopefully, a safe exit back onto the beach after the fun. It is all a matter of precise timing. ..
I began to notice things that fascinated me; the insects in Charlottesville, Virginia, were, on average, much larger than their counterparts with which I was familiar. Also snakes, which legend tells us St Patrick drove out of Ireland 1500 years ago, abounded. Or when standing on the south shore of Lake Erie looking north towards Canada, trying to imagine it freezing over in winter, I was overwhelmed by the notion…
We’re going on holidays! What excitement this generated in us as children in the 60’s and 70’s! In my case, the experience was extreme because I remember living the 50 weeks in our comparatively dreary home town of Limerick, in anticipation of our two week summer holiday in beautiful Ballycroy, in the Wild West of Ireland.
`Suffering is only letting go of things that don’t work anymore. On the other side of suffering is belief.´ Dan Coyhis, Mohican Writer & CEO Wellbriety Inc. `Pain is an integral part of
The question as to why our culture, in which we were so deeply rooted and steeped, was infected by the punitive, the terrible, and the vengeful to such a extreme degree, is a topic which would go way beyond the scope of this essay, so it may need separate treatment at a later date. The fact was, that, as a young boy, I lived in fear of God. I had been clearly instructed, mainly by teachers in my most tender years – all members of religious orders – that a list of all my sins was being accurately kept and, if I were good, I could make it to heaven, most probably by way of a stint in purgatory, a somewhat lesser form of hell. On the other hand, if I were not good, I was sure to go to hell.
All addictive patterns have in common the issue of control; the obsession with establishing, retaining, and losing control. The drinker steps into the pub `for one´ on the way home and finds herself still at the bar at midnight, the family at home long forgotten. The workaholic swears that he will move down a few gears after the current project is handed over, only to wonder, years later, what happened to such resolutions. What is required is the surrender to the impossibility of control. This is a bitter pill to swallow for anybody brought up to `get a grip´ on life and, when things get difficult, to `pull yourself up by your boot straps´.
“In to me see.” True intimacy is one of the greatest challenges for me. As with all of the new behaviours, it gets easier with practice, that is daily practice. For any transformation process – if it is to be successful and sustained over time – is made up of 20% insights and 80% practice. That is the key. And remember, it is not true that: “Practice makes perfect” (for that is the Judge Saboteur coming in through the back door again,) but rather that: “Practice makes for progress.”
How many of us have done this in our own lives? We get hurt, betrayed, lied to, or abandoned, and instead of healing, we obsess on the apparent cause of our suffering. We replay conversations. We wait for apologies that may never come. We try to explain ourselves to people who have already shown us they could never truly listen. We pour our energy into understanding the one who hurt us (so we can better manipulate their thoughts, feelings, and actions) instead of caring for the part of us that has been wounded. The truth is simple, even if uncomfortable: Some people bite because they are in the grip of their fear-driven Saboteurs. Systems driven by fear wound because that’s how they are designed…
As long as we are constantly hijacked by our Saboteurs, fear rules our lives and the lives of those around us. This takes place sometimes very obviously, sometimes more subtly. Fear’s toolbox contains a very powerful device that, if not addressed and relinquished, will ensure that the old order will forever rule the day. This device is denial. For many years I stewed in the juice of denial. Sara Bareilles describes the dynamic eloquently in her sublime song “Orpheus“:
Missing the world
The one you knew
The one where everything made sense because you
didn’t know the truth…..
Indeed, many of us didn’t know the truth for long stretches of our lives. Denial has an important role to play in our survival…
© 2022 SoberOasis | Patrick Little
