Eine Oase ist ein guter Ort, um innezuhalten, sich zu sammeln, zu reflektieren und die Batterien aufzuladen. Jede Woche gibt mir reichlich Inspiration in Bezug auf Themen; mögliche Quellen sind Coaching-Sitzungen, Gespräche mit Familienmitgliedern und Freunden, meine eigene Lektüre oder einer der vielen Beiträge und Podcasts, die ich unterwegs genieße. Ein Thema wird mich Anfang der Woche ansprechen und ich habe dann große Freude an dem iterativen Prozess des Entwerfens, Überarbeitens, Polierens und Fertigstellens jedes Aufsatzes. Dann folgt die Auswahl eines passenden, meist aktuellen Fotos aus meiner Sammlung, um das aktuelle Thema visuell zu akzentuieren. Wenn Sie die Artikel in Deutsch lesen möchten, klicken Sie bitte auf den entsprechenden orangenen Button „Translate >>“.
Ich lade Sie ein, sich eine kleine Auszeit zu nehmen, Ihre eigene sechsminütige Oase zu schaffen, einen bequemen Stuhl zu finden, sich niederzulassen und zu lesen. Mögen Sie ein Gefühl der Identifikation erleben und hoffentlich etwas Inspiration in diesen wöchentlichen Reflexionen finden. Wenn so, fühlen Sie sich frei, die `Weekly Reflections´ zu abonnieren:
Sie erhalten dann jede Woche zukünftige Ausgaben direkt per E-Mail. Bitte teilen Sie den Link auch in Ihrem eigenen Freundes- und Mitarbeiterkreis.
Schließlich sind Feedback und Kommentare immer sehr willkommen. Ich wünsche viel Genuß bei der Lektüre!
Today it is a rambling, tranquil, wonderfully restored city of great natural beauty. My years spent there were the hectic years of establishing a career, starting a family, and taking up my place in the world. I had not much time in those days to sally through the quiet streets or cycle along the river to the neighbouring towns, but I did take every opportunity I got. A love affair had begun…
I railed against the system, not yet realising that the only person I could change was me. Brutal youth tells us that we can change the world by changing others, by simply applying enough pressure. It took a while for the reality to sink in, a reality so eloquently expressed by Gandhi when he said: `Be the change you want to see in the world.´
Like my seven brothers, I was keen and spent much of my time there on the river; sometimes for twelve hours or more on days after a night’s rain, eagerly practising the craft taught me in childhood by my father, who learnt it from his, etc. To my consternation, I was not as good, by far, as some other members of the family, and often felt under pressure to prove myself in the strange ways of unwritten family codes…
With lots of initial suffering, self-sabotage, grace, hard work, courage, and the help of others, my life has gradually been unfolding as a life of `engaged non-attachment´. It is a very purposeful, peaceful way to live, generally without pressure, internal or external…
Then there was the experience of mystery, especially in the realm of nature. The hatching of a butterfly from its pupae at this time of year, the slow transformation of tadpoles, losing their tails and gaining the legs of young frogs, the musical flow of a river as interpreted and conveyed to me by my father, a man very attuned to the effervescence of nature. These, and more, caught my attention and even enchanted me. I felt part of the mystery itself…
Since my early forties, I have learned to identify this saboteur even before it kicks into action. I can even anticipate it, as in the example of deciding to breathe consciously while meditating. After even one minute, during which my mind has strayed far from my original intention, the judge inside me is yelling: `You can’t even do that right!´ and follows on with the statement that `all this mindfulness work is simply beyond me, a total waste of time.´
One very accessible example of factor analysis, used by Shirzad Chamine in his Positive Intelligence (PQ) Coaching Programme is that of colours. If we were to ask a general audience how many colours exist, you may get a variety of answers, from hundreds to thousands, depending on their family status, education, pastimes, and interactions. Yet, we may remember hearing one time at school that there are only three primary colours; namely red, yellow, and blue, from which all the other colours are derived…
Desperation fuelled my courage to admit, for the first time, that there was a problem, and to ask for help. When this happened, my eyes were opened to the fact that addiction is a disease which cannot be overcome by will power. Power of a different quality, of frequencies higher than that the ego, were called for, if the malady were to be overcome. As Einstein often pointed out, we `cannot solve a problem on the same level of consciousness that produced the problem´…
My attention was first drawn to conscious breathing many years ago when, in an effort to strengthen my sense of embodiment, I first began to work out in the local gym. My trainer became exasperated because, instead of taking a deep breath before a moment of exertion, I would hold mine in..
`Well, as far as I can see from what we have unearthed to date, one aspect of your survival strategy in the very early years was to leave your body and take up residence in the various quarters of the mind: Logic, imagination, daydreaming, intellectual endeavours, analysis, pattern recognition, and the like. It is very understandable why you would have chosen this path, considering your emotional sensitivity and proclivity for sensory overload in the highly charged environment of your childhood. Now the time has come, however, for you to gradually begin to re-enter your body. It will do you good and will be helpful for the process we have embarked upon here.´
“In to me see.” True intimacy is one of the greatest challenges for me. As with all of the new behaviours, it gets easier with practice, that is daily practice. For any transformation process – if it is to be successful and sustained over time – is made up of 20% insights and 80% practice. That is the key. And remember, it is not true that: “Practice makes perfect” (for that is the Judge Saboteur coming in through the back door again,) but rather that: “Practice makes for progress.”
How many of us have done this in our own lives? We get hurt, betrayed, lied to, or abandoned, and instead of healing, we obsess on the apparent cause of our suffering. We replay conversations. We wait for apologies that may never come. We try to explain ourselves to people who have already shown us they could never truly listen. We pour our energy into understanding the one who hurt us (so we can better manipulate their thoughts, feelings, and actions) instead of caring for the part of us that has been wounded. The truth is simple, even if uncomfortable: Some people bite because they are in the grip of their fear-driven Saboteurs. Systems driven by fear wound because that’s how they are designed…
As long as we are constantly hijacked by our Saboteurs, fear rules our lives and the lives of those around us. This takes place sometimes very obviously, sometimes more subtly. Fear’s toolbox contains a very powerful device that, if not addressed and relinquished, will ensure that the old order will forever rule the day. This device is denial. For many years I stewed in the juice of denial. Sara Bareilles describes the dynamic eloquently in her sublime song “Orpheus“:
Missing the world
The one you knew
The one where everything made sense because you
didn’t know the truth…..
Indeed, many of us didn’t know the truth for long stretches of our lives. Denial has an important role to play in our survival…
© 2022 SoberOasis | Patrick Little
