Eine Oase ist ein guter Ort, um innezuhalten, sich zu sammeln, zu reflektieren und die Batterien aufzuladen. Jede Woche gibt mir reichlich Inspiration in Bezug auf Themen; mögliche Quellen sind Coaching-Sitzungen, Gespräche mit Familienmitgliedern und Freunden, meine eigene Lektüre oder einer der vielen Beiträge und Podcasts, die ich unterwegs genieße. Ein Thema wird mich Anfang der Woche ansprechen und ich habe dann große Freude an dem iterativen Prozess des Entwerfens, Überarbeitens, Polierens und Fertigstellens jedes Aufsatzes. Dann folgt die Auswahl eines passenden, meist aktuellen Fotos aus meiner Sammlung, um das aktuelle Thema visuell zu akzentuieren. Wenn Sie die Artikel in Deutsch lesen möchten, klicken Sie bitte auf den entsprechenden orangenen Button „Translate >>“.
Ich lade Sie ein, sich eine kleine Auszeit zu nehmen, Ihre eigene sechsminütige Oase zu schaffen, einen bequemen Stuhl zu finden, sich niederzulassen und zu lesen. Mögen Sie ein Gefühl der Identifikation erleben und hoffentlich etwas Inspiration in diesen wöchentlichen Reflexionen finden. Wenn so, fühlen Sie sich frei, die `Weekly Reflections´ zu abonnieren:
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Trauma is not what happened to us but rather how we reacted to what we experienced. This often takes the form of belief systems and behaviours formed initially to ensure our survival in circumstances we experienced as existentially threatening. In the long term, these may prove to be counter productive for our growth and development…
With the help of loved-ones, mentors, and wise teachers, I learned to see through this illusion and to differentiate between pain and suffering, no easy task for one who grew up in a kind of hieroglyphics world, where real things or emotions were never said or done or even thought, but only ever expressed by proxy. Slammed doors and the rolling of eyes count among the more obvious clues…
There is a neurological explanation for this phenomenon. Neural pathways develop over time in line with our experience and corresponding behaviours. They become etched into our brains, offering themselves as the default, `the only way´. Like the diagonal paths that traverse the lawns of poorly designed public parks, our past behaviour dictates how information flows and is processed in our brains…
What else would you do with a child who was clearly overwhelmed?´ I asked myself. Empathise, – put myself in his shoes. The origin of the term despondency points to some solemn promise having been broken, – the promise perhaps of protection, nurturing, and trust. I would act in a manner that seeks to protect, provides nurturing, and aims to rebuild trust. That means being fully present, free of judgement…
Moreover, in an effort to `compensate´ for our parents’ shortcomings, we may have manifested adult levels of maturity far too early in life. While I certainly cultivated strengths such as organisational skills, self-reliance, and independence along the way ― strengths that have served me well in many situations as an adult, ― having to be the emotionally mature person in my relationship with my parent was confusing and has left wounds in its wake…
One further innovation of PQ is the daily practice, neatly and effectively packaged on the PQ App, which facilitates the regular practice which might otherwise fizzle out when we rely on traditional approaches. A transformation process is generally made up of 20% insights and 80% practice, meaning that regular, ongoing practice is essential for it to succeed and be sustained…
Acting out the addiction solves the problem of life’s unbearability, that unbearable feeling of being in our own skin. It is a solution that works. However, as it gathers pace and becomes the driving force in our lives, we become increasingly unable to see the unfurling of its destruction. The deeper we dig ourselves into a hole, the less capable we become of seeing that we are in a hole. Denial and delusion each play a role in this…
`Flow´ is the state in which we are so engrossed in an activity that we lose all track of time. This is not to be confused with the state of `zoning out´ as many of us do when watching Netflix series or scrolling endlessly on social media. How do we tell the difference? After activities carried out in flow, we feel energised and have a sense of gratitude and accomplishment. This is what I feel after a period of gardening, coaching, writing, or dancing.
Even siblings who have grown up together can have very different gifts. One may have a love of animals while another gets a gift for storytelling or music. Another may develop her gift of providing loving service to those in need, while yet another develops the ability to make sense of complexity and convey important insights in a gentle, inviting, and comprehensible manner…
The Big Book of AA, like the Bhagavad Gita, contains the instructions for `good living´, i.e., a life lived in alignment with our highest calling. In addition to finding out which activities really light up body and soul, therefore, another part of the process of recovery is to `remember´ who I really am. This is what Arjuna succeeds in grasping as the teachings of the Gita unfold. A further, modern, modality which teaches us the same lessons, in as far as we are open to receiving them, is the Positive Intelligence (PQ) Mental Fitness Programme…
What mum and dad had in common was an inability to grieve, especially the premature loss of childhood in their own respective families of origin. Had they engaged in a regular practice of Mental Fitness or had they been shown how to cultivate Emotional Sobriety, they would have known that the war raging inside the human mind — the on-going conflict between the Saboteurs and Sage — is ultimately a war between the two primal forces that facilitate and maintain life on this planet. These two primal forces are fear and love. All Saboteurs are rooted in the fears of the Human Condition. Sage, on the other hand, is fuelled entirely by love. The Sage Perspective — everything can be turned into a gift and opportunity — is based on love for the unfolding mystery of life and a dedication to finding the gift in whatever happens…
My reaction to these early experiences was to desist from articulating my needs, supressing them, deciding instead that I didn’t need anyone or anything from anyone. I was going to do just fine out on my own, thank you. This was the advent of the alienation of my own awareness of my basic needs for support, nurturing, and community, the alienation of my vulnerability. A general observation here is that a high proportion of people who have experienced trauma in their early years are characterised in later life by the stance of hyper-autonomy or hyper-independence…
Eventually, she’ll stop asking. Don’t mistake that silence for peace. It may be emotional self-protection. You may be in for a long, drawn-out cold war. In such a scenario, emotional maturity, otherwise known as Emotional Sobriety, can be manifested in one sentence: “You’re reading the signals correctly. Something is off. It’s work (or any one of several topics). It’s not you. Give me an hour and then you’ll have my full attention.” It’s that simple. You have taken responsibility for your own ― perhaps nebulous or confusing ― feelings, validated what she has noticed, removed the oblique blame, and joined up all the dots…
© 2022 SoberOasis | Patrick Little
