Eine Oase ist ein guter Ort, um innezuhalten, sich zu sammeln, zu reflektieren und die Batterien aufzuladen. Jede Woche gibt mir reichlich Inspiration in Bezug auf Themen; mögliche Quellen sind Coaching-Sitzungen, Gespräche mit Familienmitgliedern und Freunden, meine eigene Lektüre oder einer der vielen Beiträge und Podcasts, die ich unterwegs genieße. Ein Thema wird mich Anfang der Woche ansprechen und ich habe dann große Freude an dem iterativen Prozess des Entwerfens, Überarbeitens, Polierens und Fertigstellens jedes Aufsatzes. Dann folgt die Auswahl eines passenden, meist aktuellen Fotos aus meiner Sammlung, um das aktuelle Thema visuell zu akzentuieren. Wenn Sie die Artikel in Deutsch lesen möchten, klicken Sie bitte auf den entsprechenden orangenen Button „Translate >>“.
Ich lade Sie ein, sich eine kleine Auszeit zu nehmen, Ihre eigene sechsminütige Oase zu schaffen, einen bequemen Stuhl zu finden, sich niederzulassen und zu lesen. Mögen Sie ein Gefühl der Identifikation erleben und hoffentlich etwas Inspiration in diesen wöchentlichen Reflexionen finden. Wenn so, fühlen Sie sich frei, die `Weekly Reflections´ zu abonnieren:
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Schließlich sind Feedback und Kommentare immer sehr willkommen. Ich wünsche viel Genuß bei der Lektüre!
Acting out the addiction solves the problem of life’s unbearability, that unbearable feeling of being in our own skin. It is a solution that works. However, as it gathers pace and becomes the driving force in our lives, we become increasingly unable to see the unfurling of its destruction. The deeper we dig ourselves into a hole, the less capable we become of seeing that we are in a hole. Denial and delusion each play a role in this…
`Flow´ is the state in which we are so engrossed in an activity that we lose all track of time. This is not to be confused with the state of `zoning out´ as many of us do when watching Netflix series or scrolling endlessly on social media. How do we tell the difference? After activities carried out in flow, we feel energised and have a sense of gratitude and accomplishment. This is what I feel after a period of gardening, coaching, writing, or dancing.
Even siblings who have grown up together can have very different gifts. One may have a love of animals while another gets a gift for storytelling or music. Another may develop her gift of providing loving service to those in need, while yet another develops the ability to make sense of complexity and convey important insights in a gentle, inviting, and comprehensible manner…
The Big Book of AA, like the Bhagavad Gita, contains the instructions for `good living´, i.e., a life lived in alignment with our highest calling. In addition to finding out which activities really light up body and soul, therefore, another part of the process of recovery is to `remember´ who I really am. This is what Arjuna succeeds in grasping as the teachings of the Gita unfold. A further, modern, modality which teaches us the same lessons, in as far as we are open to receiving them, is the Positive Intelligence (PQ) Mental Fitness Programme…
We cannot think our way across the divide. It takes practice, practice, and more practice, which will gradually lead to mental fitness and inner strength. To achieve Mental Fitness through PQ, we need to train three mental muscles throughout each day. The first is the Saboteur Interceptor….
Basically, when I am upset, my demands,- often camouflaged as kindly requests, – have not been met. Essentially, I have relapsed into the attitude of `Playing God´. Those demands can be seen as a design for how the world should operate, – according to Patrick, that is…
I had taken up a stance of resistance to life because things had not been working out as originally envisaged. It seemed that every move of mine was being counter-acted by an invisible opponent who was simply trying to make things as difficult as possible. That, of course, was my Victim Saboteur…
My version of denial sounded like this: Alcoholics are people who drink half a bottle of vodka before getting up in the morning and sleep under bridges and, since I never drank vodka before getting up and only sometimes slept under bridges, where’s the problem?
The second verse (There’s a killer on the road….), when interpreted as a description of the addictive dynamic (`suicide by instalments’), sends shivers down my spine. The killer is killing himself and he knows this. The brain is squirming like a toad (this is a great metaphor for `stinking thinking´)…
Most of what blocks us from the Spirit is unconscious. A key role of the sponsor is to help me, the candidate, to discover my blind spots – my shadow – so that it can be integrated over time. This can only succeed if the sponsor is prepared to be vulnerable in the sense that she is willing to share her own ongoing shadow work…
“In to me see.” True intimacy is one of the greatest challenges for me. As with all of the new behaviours, it gets easier with practice, that is daily practice. For any transformation process – if it is to be successful and sustained over time – is made up of 20% insights and 80% practice. That is the key. And remember, it is not true that: “Practice makes perfect” (for that is the Judge Saboteur coming in through the back door again,) but rather that: “Practice makes for progress.”
How many of us have done this in our own lives? We get hurt, betrayed, lied to, or abandoned, and instead of healing, we obsess on the apparent cause of our suffering. We replay conversations. We wait for apologies that may never come. We try to explain ourselves to people who have already shown us they could never truly listen. We pour our energy into understanding the one who hurt us (so we can better manipulate their thoughts, feelings, and actions) instead of caring for the part of us that has been wounded. The truth is simple, even if uncomfortable: Some people bite because they are in the grip of their fear-driven Saboteurs. Systems driven by fear wound because that’s how they are designed…
As long as we are constantly hijacked by our Saboteurs, fear rules our lives and the lives of those around us. This takes place sometimes very obviously, sometimes more subtly. Fear’s toolbox contains a very powerful device that, if not addressed and relinquished, will ensure that the old order will forever rule the day. This device is denial. For many years I stewed in the juice of denial. Sara Bareilles describes the dynamic eloquently in her sublime song “Orpheus“:
Missing the world
The one you knew
The one where everything made sense because you
didn’t know the truth…..
Indeed, many of us didn’t know the truth for long stretches of our lives. Denial has an important role to play in our survival…
© 2022 SoberOasis | Patrick Little
