Inner Guidance
What else would you do with a child who was clearly overwhelmed?´ I asked myself. Empathise, – put myself in his shoes. The origin of the term despondency points to some solemn promise having been broken, – the promise perhaps of protection, nurturing, and trust. I would act in a manner that seeks to protect, provides nurturing, and aims to rebuild trust. That means being fully present, free of judgement…
Falling Apart
Moreover, in an effort to `compensate´ for our parents’ shortcomings, we may have manifested adult levels of maturity far too early in life. While I certainly cultivated strengths such as organisational skills, self-reliance, and independence along the way ― strengths that have served me well in many situations as an adult, ― having to be the emotionally mature person in my relationship with my parent was confusing and has left wounds in its wake…
Turning Points
Acting out the addiction solves the problem of life’s unbearability, that unbearable feeling of being in our own skin. It is a solution that works. However, as it gathers pace and becomes the driving force in our lives, we become increasingly unable to see the unfurling of its destruction. The deeper we dig ourselves into a hole, the less capable we become of seeing that we are in a hole. Denial and delusion each play a role in this…
Gifts
`Flow´ is the state in which we are so engrossed in an activity that we lose all track of time. This is not to be confused with the state of `zoning out´ as many of us do when watching Netflix series or scrolling endlessly on social media. How do we tell the difference? After activities carried out in flow, we feel energised and have a sense of gratitude and accomplishment. This is what I feel after a period of gardening, coaching, writing, or dancing.
Two Brains
We cannot think our way across the divide. It takes practice, practice, and more practice, which will gradually lead to mental fitness and inner strength. To achieve Mental Fitness through PQ, we need to train three mental muscles throughout each day. The first is the Saboteur Interceptor….
Inventory
Basically, when I am upset, my demands,- often camouflaged as kindly requests, – have not been met. Essentially, I have relapsed into the attitude of `Playing God´. Those demands can be seen as a design for how the world should operate, – according to Patrick, that is…
Befriending Life
I had taken up a stance of resistance to life because things had not been working out as originally envisaged. It seemed that every move of mine was being counter-acted by an invisible opponent who was simply trying to make things as difficult as possible. That, of course, was my Victim Saboteur…
Moderation?
My version of denial sounded like this: Alcoholics are people who drink half a bottle of vodka before getting up in the morning and sleep under bridges and, since I never drank vodka before getting up and only sometimes slept under bridges, where’s the problem?
Miracles
Some Saboteurs are stealthier than others. It is a characteristic of our human condition to overlook some things in our field of vision. I certainly had. There are always blind spots. This happens due to our innate imperfection. This is neither good nor bad. It is simply the way it is…
Sage Perspective
My life then took a dark turn. Many years were to follow in limbo, spent in the no-man’s-land of clubs and pubs; numbing and self-medication, whereby my feeling got stuffed ever deeper, until the anaesthesia was almost complete. „Lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely; a story with a middle only,“ wrote the contemporary Irish poet, Paul Durcan at around that time…
