Neediness
I wandered outside again into the yard, to enjoy the spaciousness under the vibrant sky, the brightness and warmth of the July sunshine, and the music of the blanket bog. The mood was carefree; we were all a bit tired, perhaps also hungry, at the tail end of the long day trip…
Free Will
The pertinent question today is the one which addresses my degree of willingness to wake up to the reality of life as it is right now, in the present moment, to accept the mixed bag of wounds and gifts that have accumulated over time, and to embrace the opportunity to heal the old wounds while cultivating and further developing the gifts. Herein lies my free will…
Getting Unstuck
When I got into the car and attempted to reverse out onto the paved lane, there was a rude awakening. The back wheels simply spun on the spot. Zero traction. There I am, facing downhill on a 15% slope, unable to reverse out. I was stuck…
Roots
At the end of this seemingly successful treatment, Rowland Hazard, now several months dry, was confident that he could remain abstinent and return to the US to continue his recovery. He only got as far as Paris, however, where someone asked him the wrong question: `Would you like a glass of champagne, Sir?´
Returning to Zurich with his tail between his legs, distraught and depressed, he once again sought out Dr Jung. He asked him what hope, if any, there was for him. Jung was frank with his American client…
Samhain
My father’s death and, in particular, how he handled the experience, has also shown itself to be a great gift. By leaving this incarnation in a conscious state of humility, faith, and gratitude, he demonstrated how best we can embrace the ultimate human challenge. Almost half a century later, I still find myself unwrapping further layers of this precious gift…
Outrage
Trauma is not what happened to us but rather how we reacted to what we experienced. This often takes the form of belief systems and behaviours formed initially to ensure our survival in circumstances we experienced as existentially threatening. In the long term, these may prove to be counter productive for our growth and development…
Nostalgia
With the help of loved-ones, mentors, and wise teachers, I learned to see through this illusion and to differentiate between pain and suffering, no easy task for one who grew up in a kind of hieroglyphics world, where real things or emotions were never said or done or even thought, but only ever expressed by proxy. Slammed doors and the rolling of eyes count among the more obvious clues…
Old Ideas
There is a neurological explanation for this phenomenon. Neural pathways develop over time in line with our experience and corresponding behaviours. They become etched into our brains, offering themselves as the default, `the only way´. Like the diagonal paths that traverse the lawns of poorly designed public parks, our past behaviour dictates how information flows and is processed in our brains…
Inner Guidance
What else would you do with a child who was clearly overwhelmed?´ I asked myself. Empathise, – put myself in his shoes. The origin of the term despondency points to some solemn promise having been broken, – the promise perhaps of protection, nurturing, and trust. I would act in a manner that seeks to protect, provides nurturing, and aims to rebuild trust. That means being fully present, free of judgement…
Falling Apart
Moreover, in an effort to `compensate´ for our parents’ shortcomings, we may have manifested adult levels of maturity far too early in life. While I certainly cultivated strengths such as organisational skills, self-reliance, and independence along the way ― strengths that have served me well in many situations as an adult, ― having to be the emotionally mature person in my relationship with my parent was confusing and has left wounds in its wake…
