Eine Oase ist ein guter Ort, um innezuhalten, sich zu sammeln, zu reflektieren und die Batterien aufzuladen. Jede Woche gibt mir reichlich Inspiration in Bezug auf Themen; mögliche Quellen sind Coaching-Sitzungen, Gespräche mit Familienmitgliedern und Freunden, meine eigene Lektüre oder einer der vielen Beiträge und Podcasts, die ich unterwegs genieße. Ein Thema wird mich Anfang der Woche ansprechen und ich habe dann große Freude an dem iterativen Prozess des Entwerfens, Überarbeitens, Polierens und Fertigstellens jedes Aufsatzes. Dann folgt die Auswahl eines passenden, meist aktuellen Fotos aus meiner Sammlung, um das aktuelle Thema visuell zu akzentuieren. Wenn Sie die Artikel in Deutsch lesen möchten, klicken Sie bitte auf den entsprechenden orangenen Button „Translate >>“.
Ich lade Sie ein, sich eine kleine Auszeit zu nehmen, Ihre eigene sechsminütige Oase zu schaffen, einen bequemen Stuhl zu finden, sich niederzulassen und zu lesen. Mögen Sie ein Gefühl der Identifikation erleben und hoffentlich etwas Inspiration in diesen wöchentlichen Reflexionen finden. Wenn so, fühlen Sie sich frei, die `Weekly Reflections´ zu abonnieren:
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Schließlich sind Feedback und Kommentare immer sehr willkommen. Ich wünsche viel Genuß bei der Lektüre!
At home, there was no vocabulary for the realm of feelings. Doors were slammed, eyes were rolled, the air was constantly filled with emotional static, and, for the most part, the basic childhood needs of my generation went unmet, just as had been the case of many of the children, like my parents, who grew up during World War II…
The smell of freshly waxed parquet floors intermingling with the culinary fragrances from the kitchens in the subterranean levels impressed etched itself on my memory, when I had occasion to visit the Jesuits’ offices and rooms on the far side of the incorporated church which divided school classrooms from living quarters…
Meaningful encouragement came in the form of an English teacher in secondary school of whom I was quite fond. The warmth was mutual, and this Jesuit priest gave me meaningful feedback on my essays during my somewhat turbulent teen years. To this day, I have some of the corrected manuscripts in my desk, these being the only school memorabilia in my possession. His encouragement left me with the conviction that real talent resided deep within me and could and would be brought to the surface, if sufficiently cultivated and expressed…
This morning, my inner clock woke me at 4.30, in good time to meditate and have tea before heading out through the fields in an easterly direction, to meet the rising sun. I am fortunate to live in such semi-rural surroundings with broad horizons in all directions. The best days are those where I get to greet both the beginning and the end of the day. Dawn and dusk are my favourite times, to be enjoyed in the company of the birds, many of whom migrate back here from Africa for the summer months…
Thich Nhat Hanh hit the nail on the head when he pointed out that: `Peace is an inside job´. It all begins with me. If we pause and observe for a moment how our thoughts bombard us incessantly, how the `inner critic´ judges our selves, others, and our circumstances, we cannot deny that most of us live in a state of all-out war, the battlefield situated between our ears. The good news is that this is where the leverage for world peace is to be found…
There can be no transformation without gratitude. For gratitude leads to appreciation, taking us from hubris to humility, and enabling us to move out of our heads into the present moment. The intent of the addictive practice in the first place was as an avoidance strategy to protect us from the present moment of the three or five-year-old, which would otherwise have been unbearable…
Today it is a rambling, tranquil, wonderfully restored city of great natural beauty. My years spent there were the hectic years of establishing a career, starting a family, and taking up my place in the world. I had not much time in those days to sally through the quiet streets or cycle along the river to the neighbouring towns, but I did take every opportunity I got. A love affair had begun…
I railed against the system, not yet realising that the only person I could change was me. Brutal youth tells us that we can change the world by changing others, by simply applying enough pressure. It took a while for the reality to sink in, a reality so eloquently expressed by Gandhi when he said: `Be the change you want to see in the world.´
Like my seven brothers, I was keen and spent much of my time there on the river; sometimes for twelve hours or more on days after a night’s rain, eagerly practising the craft taught me in childhood by my father, who learnt it from his, etc. To my consternation, I was not as good, by far, as some other members of the family, and often felt under pressure to prove myself in the strange ways of unwritten family codes…
With lots of initial suffering, self-sabotage, grace, hard work, courage, and the help of others, my life has gradually been unfolding as a life of `engaged non-attachment´. It is a very purposeful, peaceful way to live, generally without pressure, internal or external…
What mum and dad had in common was an inability to grieve, especially the premature loss of childhood in their own respective families of origin. Had they engaged in a regular practice of Mental Fitness or had they been shown how to cultivate Emotional Sobriety, they would have known that the war raging inside the human mind — the on-going conflict between the Saboteurs and Sage — is ultimately a war between the two primal forces that facilitate and maintain life on this planet. These two primal forces are fear and love. All Saboteurs are rooted in the fears of the Human Condition. Sage, on the other hand, is fuelled entirely by love. The Sage Perspective — everything can be turned into a gift and opportunity — is based on love for the unfolding mystery of life and a dedication to finding the gift in whatever happens…
My reaction to these early experiences was to desist from articulating my needs, supressing them, deciding instead that I didn’t need anyone or anything from anyone. I was going to do just fine out on my own, thank you. This was the advent of the alienation of my own awareness of my basic needs for support, nurturing, and community, the alienation of my vulnerability. A general observation here is that a high proportion of people who have experienced trauma in their early years are characterised in later life by the stance of hyper-autonomy or hyper-independence…
Eventually, she’ll stop asking. Don’t mistake that silence for peace. It may be emotional self-protection. You may be in for a long, drawn-out cold war. In such a scenario, emotional maturity, otherwise known as Emotional Sobriety, can be manifested in one sentence: “You’re reading the signals correctly. Something is off. It’s work (or any one of several topics). It’s not you. Give me an hour and then you’ll have my full attention.” It’s that simple. You have taken responsibility for your own ― perhaps nebulous or confusing ― feelings, validated what she has noticed, removed the oblique blame, and joined up all the dots…
© 2022 SoberOasis | Patrick Little
