Weekly Reflections

Eine Oase ist ein guter Ort, um innezuhalten, sich zu sammeln, zu reflektieren und die Batterien aufzuladen. Jede Woche gibt mir reichlich Inspiration in Bezug auf Themen; mögliche Quellen sind Coaching-Sitzungen, Gespräche mit Familienmitgliedern und Freunden, meine eigene Lektüre oder einer der vielen Beiträge und Podcasts, die ich unterwegs genieße. Ein Thema wird mich Anfang der Woche ansprechen und ich habe dann große Freude an dem iterativen Prozess des Entwerfens, Überarbeitens, Polierens und Fertigstellens jedes Aufsatzes. Dann folgt die Auswahl eines passenden, meist aktuellen Fotos aus meiner Sammlung, um das aktuelle Thema visuell zu akzentuieren. Wenn Sie die Artikel in Deutsch lesen möchten, klicken Sie bitte auf den entsprechenden orangenen Button „Translate >>“.

Ich lade Sie ein, sich eine kleine Auszeit zu nehmen, Ihre eigene sechsminütige Oase zu schaffen, einen bequemen Stuhl zu finden, sich niederzulassen und zu lesen. Mögen Sie ein Gefühl der Identifikation erleben und hoffentlich etwas Inspiration in diesen wöchentlichen Reflexionen finden. Wenn so, fühlen Sie sich frei, die `Weekly Reflections´ zu abonnieren:

Sie erhalten dann jede Woche zukünftige Ausgaben direkt per E-Mail. Bitte teilen Sie den Link auch in Ihrem eigenen Freundes- und Mitarbeiterkreis.

Schließlich sind Feedback und Kommentare immer sehr willkommen. Ich wünsche viel Genuß bei der Lektüre!

Peace of MInd

State of Grace

When the guided meditation concluded, we all slowly “came back”, stretching limbs in all directions and blinking our eyes to re-adapted to the artificial room lighting. There were many smiles to be seen on the faces of the small group which had thus gathered in our corner. After a period of silence, a conversation slowly began to unfold on what we had just experienced. We quickly began to explore such topics as connection and alienation. Why is it that, during deep meditation, some of us find our bliss tempered by sadness, even grief. And what about the high degree of sensitivity that some of us manifest? Is high sensitivity simply more than a somatic or emotional manifestation? Is it not primarily spiritual sensitivity?

PQ Mental Fitness

Redemption

That is what the Twelve Steps are all about: a shift in perspective. Before we begin the journey of recovery, we are caught firmly in a trap that we cannot spring through self-sufficiency or mere egoic willpower (ergo the need for a “Higher Power” of our own understanding). We also suffer from a chronic perception disorder because of having lived so long in chaos, overwhelmed mode, denial, delusion, and the suppression of all the emotions we could not process or endure during the first, formative years of our lives. As traumatised adult children, we see the world as we are, not as it is..

Health

Change Paradox

The caterpillar does not engage in a coercive attempt to change herself into a butterfly. She is wholly at one in her caterpillar existence. Without this self-acceptance of “what is”, the organic transformation cannot take place. How do we get to such a point of growth and development? The first step is to quit running away from our version of “what is”. Our society stimulates us to be on the run, around the clock. Addictions, both substance-related and behavioural, are the grease that keeps the wheels of our modern global consumer society moving. As long as we buy into the lie: “I’ll be happy when…” we will be tilting at windmills like our old friend Don Quixote…

Leadership

Violence

Down on all fours, searching in vain, he hears the voice of a policeman who has happened upon the scene.
„Good evening, Sir. How can I help you?“
„Thank you, Constable. I have lost my keys.“
So, the policeman also gets down on all fours, pulls a flash light from his pocket and joins the search. After ten minutes, they both stand up, perplexed and disheartened.
„Are you sure you dropped them here, Sir?“, asks the policemen.
„Oh no,“ says the man. „I dropped them in that dark side street across the road over there.“
„Well, why in heaven’s name then are you searching here?“
„Because it is bright here, in the lamplight,“ was his laconic answer…

Community

Generational Grief

My new friends in AA suggested placing my focus on what was needed in terms of new behaviours in the light of this discovery. The first, of course, was not to take the first drink. Much more was to come later, in the form of a new design for living as described in the Big Book of AA and summarised in the Twelve Steps. That work is still ongoing today, one day at a time. I also had a bizarre hunch in those first months, one that has been recently confirmed in my heart and soul, without solid external evidence: That I am the grandchild of one or more alcoholics.

Community

Family Matters

From the child’s perspective we could apply the Zen proverb: `We never step into the same river twice.´ It is not the parent, per say, that determines the experience, but the relationship between the child, at any given moment, and the parenting at that same moment. Each interaction between a parent and any one child is a reprise of stepping into new waters, and for each parent-sibling combination there is a different river. In the overall picture, my impression is that our parents always acted with the best of intentions. Like all human beings they had their good days and bad, and sometimes their actions were determined by inner Saboteurs of which they had little awareness…

Community

Splendid Torch

In a recent conversation, a newly made acquaintance asked what I did for a living. The answer was Transformation Coaching, for people who have lost their way in life.
“In what way?”
“It is different in each individual case.”
“What brought you to this field of work?”
“I lost my way.”
“What did that look like?”
“The immediate manifestation was substance addiction.”
“So, you’re an alcoholic?”
“Yes, thankfully now in recovery….”

It was a refreshing conversation, especially considering it took place in the frenzied energy field of one of Cologne’s best known rave clubs at three o clock in the morning…

Community

Weariness

In the neglect arising from the absence of the caregiver attuned to our needs we soon learn to take care of our own needs. We become the children who are often admired for our maturity beyond our years, a target of warm praise from our caregivers, our teachers, and later, our bosses. We are the hyper-independent self starters everyone wants on their team because we require little or no supervision. We learn to become the compliant partner in relationships or flip to the other extreme of trying to dominate them…

Community

Isolation

Taking the bird’s-eye perspective, this would explain how we, as a species, have arrived at the point of jeopardising life on the planet through our self-centred actions. Were we truly connected (to ourselves, each other, and Creation), we would not, as a result of focusing on short-term material gains, drive other species to extinction, abuse billions of animals so cruelly to uphold unsustainable, outdated nutrition practices, and violate our nest through the proliferation of toxins in agriculture and industrial activities, as we are doing today…

Community

Imposter

The only explanation I could find as to why this `unbearability of being´ had become my daily reality was that there must have been something inherently wrong with me. The only alternative explanation, — that my parents were so overwhelmed that they could not meet my basic emotional needs — would have been too much to endure for a child still dependent upon his parents. Add to these internal ruminations the messaging common in any group trying to function as best it can under severe pressure and it is no wonder that some of us arrive at the conclusion that we are useless, not good enough, that the world would be better off without us…

Be Plankton!

For traction, the journey now needs the lighting of a fuse. This fuse is called „faith“. Without faith we are doomed to repeating and continuing patterns of thoughts, emotions, and actions governed by fear. With a little bit of faith, we can begin doing new things and doing familiar things in new ways. When we experience some healing as a result of this, the faith evolves into „hope“. Hope is just what the hopeless addict needs for this journey of liberation. On exercising the hope for a while and learning to cultivate hope within ourselves, the hope evolves further, this time into „trust“. Now we can ship oars, in the trust that we have everything we need for a successful journey…

A Way Out

The substance addict is deeply ashamed and feels guilty about what he’s doing, and he cannot help himself. But he can’t stand the inner barrage of shaming and self-recrimination, so he projects his own anger at himself onto his spouse. He says: “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t drink! You’re the one who makes me drink.” And uses this kind of rationale so that eventually the spouse begins to feel “Maybe I am the reason. Maybe it is me! If only I could change and treat him differently, he wouldn’t drink.” In this manner, the spouse has become very neurotic and sick themselves and needs help…

Health

Realignment

They’re the people who come out on top, and I used to be one, so there! And I like university professors. But you know we shouldn’t hold them up as the high watermark of all human achievement. They’re just a form of life. You know, another form of life. But they’re rather curious, and I say this out of affection for them, but something curious about professors in my experience, not all of them, but typically, they live in their heads. They live up there and slightly to one side. They’re disembodied, you know, in a kind of literal way. They look upon their body as a form of transport for their heads.“…

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