Eine Oase ist ein guter Ort, um innezuhalten, sich zu sammeln, zu reflektieren und die Batterien aufzuladen. Jede Woche gibt mir reichlich Inspiration in Bezug auf Themen; mögliche Quellen sind Coaching-Sitzungen, Gespräche mit Familienmitgliedern und Freunden, meine eigene Lektüre oder einer der vielen Beiträge und Podcasts, die ich unterwegs genieße. Ein Thema wird mich Anfang der Woche ansprechen und ich habe dann große Freude an dem iterativen Prozess des Entwerfens, Überarbeitens, Polierens und Fertigstellens jedes Aufsatzes. Dann folgt die Auswahl eines passenden, meist aktuellen Fotos aus meiner Sammlung, um das aktuelle Thema visuell zu akzentuieren. Wenn Sie die Artikel in Deutsch lesen möchten, klicken Sie bitte auf den entsprechenden orangenen Button „Translate >>“.
Ich lade Sie ein, sich eine kleine Auszeit zu nehmen, Ihre eigene sechsminütige Oase zu schaffen, einen bequemen Stuhl zu finden, sich niederzulassen und zu lesen. Mögen Sie ein Gefühl der Identifikation erleben und hoffentlich etwas Inspiration in diesen wöchentlichen Reflexionen finden. Wenn so, fühlen Sie sich frei, die `Weekly Reflections´ zu abonnieren:
Sie erhalten dann jede Woche zukünftige Ausgaben direkt per E-Mail. Bitte teilen Sie den Link auch in Ihrem eigenen Freundes- und Mitarbeiterkreis.
Schließlich sind Feedback und Kommentare immer sehr willkommen. Ich wünsche viel Genuß bei der Lektüre!
John Lennon was right when he said that: `When we love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.´ It is worth pointing out that we also experience less stress, more success, better relationships, restored physical health, and peace of mind. Being mentally fit helps in moving us ever closer to the goal of living the lives we love…
As this has been the major theme of my own experience, it appeared that the time had now arrived to `pass forward´ the guidance and support which has so generously been given me during my life. One of my main qualifications could be described as `having made almost every mistake that can be made´ along the way and `turning the respective experiences into gifts´…
I sat in complete blackness, except for the glow of the red-hot stones and the firefly effects of the herbal offerings placed upon them before the dousing with water began. When the water did hit the stones, there was a loud sizzle, both audible and tangible. This moment was cathartic. I found myself sweating profusely in what seemed both the `Womb on Mother Earth´ and the actual womb in which I was gestated so many years ago. The former gave me great comfort and solace, while the later came close to inducing panic…
It has been demonstrated that any person who practices PQ Mental Fitness daily for 40 days or more, experiences palpable benefits. The metric for PQ is that, for every negative thought or feeling we experience over a day, we have at least three positive ones. This is as true for our self talk as it is for our communication with others…
Transformation processes can be mandated from the top. This never works. Alternatively the team can be engaged to come up with the ideas and then execute. This is a much better approach. If the Saboteurs remain invisible, however, true transformation will never be achieved. Sustained transformation requires the `Coaching from the Inside Out´ provided by the PQ approach. Only by identifying the Saboteurs, and applying the on-going practice of PQ Mental Fitness to keep returning to Sage, will the desired transformation begin to shape new ways of interacting in high-performance teamwork…
In hindsight, I see that all me daemons (Saboteurs) had come out to play, preying upon my existential fears (future) and criticising me for not better preparing my new business venture, which had not been unfolding as my optimism had declared it should have (past). This is a classic example of a stance of resistance to `what is´, the main source of suffering for all of humankind…
It seems that many of us are like the Japanese holdouts, soldiers, many of whom were discovered in the jungles of Southeast Asia and the Pacific over the decades following the end of World War II in 1945, who, due to their remote locations, had not gotten word that the war was over. The last verified holdout, Private Terou Nakamura, surrendered on the island of Morotai in 1974. We are still fighting the war of our childhood and the bombardment we face is that of the Saboteurs. We originally developed these as tools of survival. In that respect they have served us well. The question today is: `Are they still serving us well?´…
For example, the facilitator would ask the client to give a summary of the topic that she hoped to resolve and would then ask her to select, from the participants (many people had never met each other before), people to represent themselves, their mother, father, grandparents, siblings, etc – those people considered to be most relevant to the work at hand. The client didn’t participate actively in the constellation, but rather worked from the side lines in tandem with the facilitator…
The home in which we grew up did not engender the capabilities or provide a toolset to deal well with emotions. Apparently, anger was a tabu. Ironically, it was also ever-present, mostly in the passive-aggressive manifestations of the wetting of beds, rolling of eyes, and the slamming of doors…
Loud voices, cramped spaces, the physical danger of contact sports, tension in the air at home that could be cut through with a bread knife, – these poised challenges to me which were not easily overcome. Fear began to creep into the picture more and more. As Cornnelia Funke has one of her characters state, `fear kills your mind, your heart, and your imagination´. I would add that it also leads us to shut down our vulnerability….
“In to me see.” True intimacy is one of the greatest challenges for me. As with all of the new behaviours, it gets easier with practice, that is daily practice. For any transformation process – if it is to be successful and sustained over time – is made up of 20% insights and 80% practice. That is the key. And remember, it is not true that: “Practice makes perfect” (for that is the Judge Saboteur coming in through the back door again,) but rather that: “Practice makes for progress.”
How many of us have done this in our own lives? We get hurt, betrayed, lied to, or abandoned, and instead of healing, we obsess on the apparent cause of our suffering. We replay conversations. We wait for apologies that may never come. We try to explain ourselves to people who have already shown us they could never truly listen. We pour our energy into understanding the one who hurt us (so we can better manipulate their thoughts, feelings, and actions) instead of caring for the part of us that has been wounded. The truth is simple, even if uncomfortable: Some people bite because they are in the grip of their fear-driven Saboteurs. Systems driven by fear wound because that’s how they are designed…
As long as we are constantly hijacked by our Saboteurs, fear rules our lives and the lives of those around us. This takes place sometimes very obviously, sometimes more subtly. Fear’s toolbox contains a very powerful device that, if not addressed and relinquished, will ensure that the old order will forever rule the day. This device is denial. For many years I stewed in the juice of denial. Sara Bareilles describes the dynamic eloquently in her sublime song “Orpheus“:
Missing the world
The one you knew
The one where everything made sense because you
didn’t know the truth…..
Indeed, many of us didn’t know the truth for long stretches of our lives. Denial has an important role to play in our survival…
© 2022 SoberOasis | Patrick Little
