Maternal Sadism
What mum and dad had in common was an inability to grieve, especially the premature loss of childhood in their own respective families of origin. Had they engaged in a regular practice of Mental Fitness or had they been shown how to cultivate Emotional Sobriety, they would have known that the war raging inside the human mind — the on-going conflict between the Saboteurs and Sage — is ultimately a war between the two primal forces that facilitate and maintain life on this planet. These two primal forces are fear and love. All Saboteurs are rooted in the fears of the Human Condition. Sage, on the other hand, is fuelled entirely by love. The Sage Perspective — everything can be turned into a gift and opportunity — is based on love for the unfolding mystery of life and a dedication to finding the gift in whatever happens…
Feeling Better
Eventually, she’ll stop asking. Don’t mistake that silence for peace. It may be emotional self-protection. You may be in for a long, drawn-out cold war. In such a scenario, emotional maturity, otherwise known as Emotional Sobriety, can be manifested in one sentence: “You’re reading the signals correctly. Something is off. It’s work (or any one of several topics). It’s not you. Give me an hour and then you’ll have my full attention.” It’s that simple. You have taken responsibility for your own ― perhaps nebulous or confusing ― feelings, validated what she has noticed, removed the oblique blame, and joined up all the dots…
Alexithymia
A case was described whereby a struggling client — a very successful man by all the criteria of our society; self-made millionaire, respected in the community, handsome, fit & healthy, seemingly intact family life, vibrant social network, etc. — was having difficulties in his „empty nest“ marriage because he felt that his wife was not displaying sufficient willingness to have sex with him whenever he (apparently often) wanted. „Oh boy! „, I thought, „this is not new to me.“ Thinking back to my VIP (Very Important Patrick) days, when I was proud of the fact that my average working week surpassed sixty hours, when, as an executive in a multi-national corporation, I racked up many hundred thousand air miles, it was clear to me that I, too, had fallen prey to the „sacrifice indulge syndrome“…
Awe
Because many of us rarely experience awe or do so only sporadically, we remain unaware of its beneficial effects on our state of heart and mind. When most of us have the experience of feeling down, for example, we usually look for distraction through busyness or light relief through comedy or entertainment. These are not only less effective than awe; they may, in fact, be counterproductive in that our stress levels are ultimately increased by the end of the day. Cultivating awe, on the other hand, can still the mind and trigger a great mental shift, propelling our neural activity beyond what had become its predictable comfort zone…
